Respect Everyone — Including Yourself

By Joe Friszolowski

When we say respect everyone, we mean everyone. And somehow, we're usually the easiest person to leave off that list.

Last week, we talked about staying consistent - about showing up again and again, even when nobody is applauding, and you're not sure you're making a difference. But there's something else I've learned about showing up for people.
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You can't completely forget about yourself while you're doing it.

One of our core values here at Mercy Drops is Respect Everyone.
Everyone.
That's important.
Because when I say "respect everyone," most of us immediately start thinking about other people.
Our family.
Our friends.
Our neighbors.
The person who's struggling.
The person who's been forgotten.
The person standing right in front of us.
And yes. Absolutely.
Respect them.
But there's somebody else who belongs on that list.
You.

​Don't Leave Yourself Out

​I think those of us who spend a lot of time caring for other people can be especially bad at this.
We know how to show up.
We know how to serve.
We know how to ask somebody else, "How are you doing?"
But sometimes we forget to ask ourselves the same question.
How am I doing?
How's my foundation?
Am I flourishing?
Or am I so busy helping everybody else move forward that I haven't noticed I'm running on empty?
That's a hard question.
I've had to ask it too.
And here's what I'm learning:
You don't have to forget yourself in order to remember everybody else.

“You don't have to forget yourself in order to remember everybody else.”

— Joe Friszolowski

​Respect Changes How We Show Up

​Around Mercy Drops, we talk a lot about helping people move from forgotten, to foundation, to flourishing.
Usually we're talking about the people we have the privilege of walking alongside.
But I've been thinking...
That journey applies to us too.
If I'm constantly pouring out but never paying attention to what's happening inside of me, eventually I don't have much left to give.
Respecting yourself doesn't mean making everything about you.
It doesn't mean putting yourself ahead of everybody else.
Sometimes it simply means being honest enough to recognize that you matter too.
Maybe you need rest.
Maybe you need to ask for help.
Maybe you need a boundary.
Maybe you need to stop talking to yourself in a way you'd never talk to another person.
Maybe you need to give yourself a little of the grace you're so quick to give everybody else.
Because something happens when we learn to respect ourselves.
We show up differently.
For our families.
For our friends.
For our community.
For the people God puts in front of us.

​Respect Everyone Really Does Mean Everyone

Here's the beautiful thing.
This isn't either/or.
We don't have to choose between caring for ourselves and caring for other people.
In fact, I think learning to see our own value helps us recognize the value in the person standing across from us.
At Mercy Drops, we've met a lot of people who have been treated like they don't matter.
Sometimes for a very long time.
And one of the simplest things we can do is look somebody in the eye and remind them:
You matter.
You're worth listening to.
You're worth knowing.
You're worth respecting.
But maybe this week, you need to hear those words too.
You matter too.

this week's challenge:
I want you to think about how you show respect to the people around you.
Then ask yourself one more question:
Am I showing that same respect to myself?
Pay attention to how you talk to yourself.
Pay attention to your boundaries.
Pay attention to whether you're giving yourself any room to rest, grow, ask for help, or simply be human.

Respect everyone this week.
And don't forget that everyone includes you.
Love you, guys.
Thanks for spending a few minutes with me today.

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